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I Should�ve Taken That Left Turn at Albuquerque |
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Hello and welcome. If you're new here, be a dear and Read my Disclaimer. My diary not good enough for you? Fine, be that way. Try these instead: plf
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2002-04-04 - 8:35 p.m.� All I can say about work today was that nobody yelled at me, accused me of being incompetant, or threw anything at me. Which is a marked improvement over yesterday. I didn't write an entry yesterday. I wanted to, but I somehow couldn't get it out. Talking to Sarah and my brother yesterday helped. As did talking with my supervisor today. Here's the gist of things. Apparantly, last Wednesday I said something to a volunteer which he took offense too. I had assigned him a list of volunteer driving to do, he had expressed concern over how he'd be able to fit two clients in, because their appointment times were very close together. I made a suggestion, which I wrote out on his list of drives. He said, okay, and went home. He then called me three times that afternoon, discussing the instructions I'd written on the page. In the first call, I explained my reasoning behind my suggestion. In the second call, he told me that he still didn't think it would work, and that he had a better way to do it. I said, sure, if you have a better way, by all means, do it. All that matters to me is that the clients get where they are going. When he called me a third time in under 90 minutes to discuss it, I said, "Hey, Volunteer, if you aren't comfortable with the two drives, I can find someone else for one of them. It's okay." This is standard. If a volunteer doesn't want to do something, or I sense they are uncomfortable but don't want to come out and say it, I give them an out. With the exception of this time, they have all been grateful for the out. However, this particular volunteer took it as me thinking that he couldn't do his job properly, and threatening to take it away from him. Totally not my intent! So, after stewing about this for a week, he comes into the office and picks a fight with me over it. Literally. I say, "Hi, Volunteer! Did you have a good Easter?" He says, "Can I ask you something?" I say, "Sure." And then he starts to shout at me, telling me that he doesn't want me to tell him how to do his volunteer work anymore. At this point, I have no idea what the hell he's talking about, I tell him that (in a much nicer, more shocked way). This only made him madder, and he ranted off his views on how I had offended him, nay, threatened him, and how when he had been the boss of his own company, he would have fired me for the way I did my job. He did not give me a chance to explain or defend myself. And he responded to everything I tried to say as "I don't want your excuses." I think it was at this point that my supervisor came over and tried to mediate. But again, anything I'd say, would only make him yell louder. And then he crumpled up the piece of paper in his hand and threw it across my desk. It didn't hit me, and even if it had, it wouldn't have hurt, but that's besides the point in my mind. It was an act of violence. The whole thing just floored me. I've always thought I had a good relationship with this volunteer. We always have a long talk whenever he comes in, I've always liked him. His wife was a teacher of mine. One that I liked, for shit's sake. There weren't too many of those. And then he comes in one morning and goes ballistic. I've been replaying it all in mind since yesterday. Going over whole incident, and the conversations last week that apparantly pissed him off. I've been trying to figure out if I said something wrong, or missed a clue that this was going to happen. Honestly, I can't think of anything I should have picked up on. I know I've hated my job lately, but I haven't taken it out on a volunteer or a client. Of that I am sure. But even if I had done something wrong, which I did in his mind, his behavior was wholly inappropriate. Letting your temper rule, and yelling and throwing things are not the way to air concerns, make complaints or resolve a conflict. He was violent. He may have just thrown a wad of paper yesterday, but I can't help wondering what would have happened if he'd had a cup of coffee in his hand instead. Would that have come flying across my desk? I thought I would be able to just let it go, and move on, provided nothing like this ever happens again. But today, whenever I knew somebody standing at my desk, my stomach clenched, because I was afraid it would be him. I know he will be in again to pick up his rides for next week (somehow, my supervisor did not fire him on the spot, like I would have done if I had the authority). I am afraid of him, more than I've ever been afraid of anyone. I am also angry though. And today, when my supervisor made a joke about it, which we were doing all day yesterday and I didn't mind it then, I got angrier. I said, you know, if a client had come in and behaved that way, he would have been written up and cut off of service immediately. But because it is a volunteer we let it go? She said, no, that's not what we are doing. She was planning to write up an incident report, but she wanted to talk to me about what to do with it. If we submit it to our boss, it becomes an official complaint. There will be meetings. My role in this, however blameless, will come into question. She didn't want me to go through that unless I wanted to. Our other option is to simply put the report in his file, and not bring it up unless something else happens and we need proof of his past behavior. I still don't know what I want to do. I don't want to be afraid that he will do this again. But I don't know if I have the energy to really fight. I don't think I'm happy enough with my job as a whole right now, to want to defend it. If that makes sense. So, I'm leaning towards the "file it until he does something else." It's not a reaction that I'm particularly proud of, but I think it is one that I can live with. If nothing else, it means that we are not ignoring what happened. I want a new job. Now. If anyone out there knows of anyone in Barrie who would like to hire me, please let me know. Thank you.
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The big 3 0 - 2006-06-03 Hello again - 2006-05-03 Random stuff in place of an actual update - 2006-03-15 Pictures. Just Because. - 2006-02-23 Christmas 05 - 2005-12-26 Currently listening to: |
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