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I Should�ve Taken That Left Turn at Albuquerque |
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Hello and welcome. If you're new here, be a dear and Read my Disclaimer. My diary not good enough for you? Fine, be that way. Try these instead: plf
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2003-04-06 - 10:18 p.m.� I went away this weekend, and I am unbelievable glad I did. My life has felt pretty crazed lately. By Friday it was starting to show at work. One of the girls asked if I was okay because I didn't seem like myself, and as I answered that I was fine, but a little stressed, I felt like I was going to cry. It feels like everthing in my life is in panic mode right about now. Okay, it's not everything in my life. It's mostly just work. The problem is, work has been taking up more time lately, and it's spilling into my evenings and personal time. First there was the whole year end/month end "get this finished right this second even if you need to put in mass amounts of overtime" rush. I got it done, handed it in, but before I could breathe my sigh of relief and start relaxing, the next thing popped up. The day I finished my reports, a day when I had already worked through half my lunch and had planned to work another hour after work to tie up everything, the big boss came around and asked if I could work some overtime that night. I told him that I already was going to work an extra hour for the year end stuff. He asked if I could put in more time beyond that and stay "no later than 8:30" that night. Yeah, because 9 hour days weren't stressing me out enough, let's bump that up to 12 hours, shall we? I didn't stay. I told him I was exhausted and thankfully he didn't press it further. The rest of the week has been nuts with this SARS virus. As I mentioned in my last entry, this is not a fun time to be working anywhere close to the health care industry. The other department in my office has had to put in extra time to call all their clients every day and screen them for SARS risk factors. They've had to bring people in on a temporary basis to help screen and still they have to stay late. I've been asked a few times if I am available to put in overtime since Monday. I was even approached about working this weekend. I haven't done it, I really don't think it would be a good idea for me mentally and emotionally at the moment, but I feel guilty. The seriousness and the level of urgency surrounding this SARS screening is freaking me out a bit too. I am trying not to get swept up in the paranoia of it all, but when it is a constant soundtrack underplaying your activities for 8 hours a day, it's awfully had to avoid thinking about it. And thinking that it has a very "Hot Zone" feel to it. Quarantine... Risk containment... these are not words that put one at ease. Then on Thursday and Friday the weather turned nasty, and my department was sent into panic mode yet again. I spent most of the two days watching the weather reports, hearing about the possibilities of severe ice storms, making decisions to cancel services, letting clients and volunteers know about the cancellations as soon as possible. By the time Friday morning rolled around, it was a serious effort to get up enough mental strength to get myself out of bed and out the door. There was nothing I wanted to do more than I wanted to hole up in my bed with the covers over my head. I'm glad I managed not to, because going away for the weekend was the best thing for me. I am still feeling uneasy at the thought of going to work tomorrow, but I do not feel like I want to curl up into the fetal position and cry. Getting away from my life, even just for a couple of days forces me to get some distance from whatever is stressing me out. Everything seem easier to deal with now. Everything seems... better. I just hope it's enough to get me through another week.
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The big 3 0 - 2006-06-03 Hello again - 2006-05-03 Random stuff in place of an actual update - 2006-03-15 Pictures. Just Because. - 2006-02-23 Christmas 05 - 2005-12-26 Currently listening to: Tragically Hip - Road Apples |
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