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I Should�ve Taken That Left Turn at Albuquerque |
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Hello and welcome. If you're new here, be a dear and Read my Disclaimer. My diary not good enough for you? Fine, be that way. Try these instead: plf
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2002-05-26 - 2:31 a.m.� I just got back from my music student reunion thing. It was... good. Not fantastic, but certainly not bad. It was strange though. Just being back in my old high school was odd. The gym still smelled the same. I think every high school gym smells like that. Nasty. They could have used an industrial sized Glade Plug-in. And it was strange seeing people again that I haven't seen in years. There weren't all that many people there from my years in the band, which was kind of disappointing. But the dynamic with the people who were there was very interesting. So little had changed, the same pretensions were still there, the same bitterness, the comfort levels. I gravitated towards the few people there that I had been really close with in high school, and although we haven't seen each other in years, it was amazing how comfortable and easy it was. By the same token, the people who were snobs in high school were still pretty damned snobby. Interestingly enough though, everyone there who I knew, from snobs to friends to teachers, all remembered me, made no attempts to avoid me, and seemed geniunely happy to talk to me. There was one person who made a comment to me about the fact that I live here when in high school I always said how much I hated it here, and I would never live here. I wanted to be snarky to her about it, but I decided to rise above it and demonstrate my maturity to myself if no one else. I simply told her that it was a very long story, and left it at that. Because quite frankly, the story is nto exactly one of the high points in my life. Oh, and my concerns about my job title, and not being and rich and successful? Well, just let me say compared to the people there that I talked to, I am an unbridled success. I was amazed at how many of them had gone exactly nowhere. Not everyone, mind you, but in comparison I'm doing pretty damned well. And I guess it's not just "in comparison" to others. I am doing pretty damned well for myself. I need to remember that when my life seems like it's stuck in a rut. I just need to say, "Hey there Heather, stop your damned whining-- you could be working in a supermarket." After the concert I went out for drinks with a few people-- the sisters that I was really excited about seeing again, a girl that I was not looking all that forward to seeing but ended up having a good time with, a guy friend of ours from high school, and another girl I used hang around with moderately closely. We had a good time, but again, it was very much like high school. It didn't feel like they'd changed very much. Maybe it was just the environment and the reason for getting together. Everything was fairly superficial. I like to think that I've changed, grown up, moved on, but there were definite points tonight were I felt like I was still the same insecure, lonely little girl I was in high school. I guess maybe that is reason enough that I never really felt the need to seek out people from high school after I graduated. I have moved on, and I don't want to be the person I was in high school. That's enough on the subject for now. It's 3:00 am, and all I want to be now is a person who is sleeping in her comfy bed.
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The big 3 0 - 2006-06-03 Hello again - 2006-05-03 Random stuff in place of an actual update - 2006-03-15 Pictures. Just Because. - 2006-02-23 Christmas 05 - 2005-12-26 Currently listening to: Just the music in my head... chiefly "Processional of the Aliens" |
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