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I Should�ve Taken That Left Turn at Albuquerque |
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Hello and welcome. If you're new here, be a dear and Read my Disclaimer. My diary not good enough for you? Fine, be that way. Try these instead: plf
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2002-05-26 - 10:47 p.m.� I've had some time to ponder things from yesterday's reunion, and I have to say that the conclusions I've come to are prtty much the ones I expected. First of all, I think I made the right decision in not playing with the alumni band. It wouldn't have been fun for me. From talking to some of the people who did participate, it sounded like the same old stuff from high school. The oh-so-talented ones still whispering about the ones who were not as good. The stress about knowing your part, and embarrassing yourself with your lack of knowledge/skill. Of course, it wasn't all this way. There was also a lot of camaraderie, and a lot of laughs, and a lot of pride when everything did come together. But I think that for me, right now, the good parts weren't worth the pettiness. It was nice to be in the audience. It reminded me of the fun I had in the music department. It also reminded me of how far I've come since high school. That seemed to be the theme of the evening for me; I have grown up. I was not intimidated by the people who were snobby in high school. I was not embarrassed to be myself, whether or not anybody liked me. And I really had it cemented for me that I really don't have much in common with a lot of the people I was concerned with in high school. I don't really want much to do with most of these people. There were a lot of people there scrambling to get everyone's email addresses and phone numbers, as if they really were going to stay in touch now when they hadn't for the 7 years since high school. I didn't even bother. I got contact info for exactly 4 people. Other people did get mine, but I would bet large sums of money that I won't hear from any of them more than once (if even that often). We did all this before, when we graduated, and now 7 years have passed. Does anyone really believe that they can recapture old friendships that have lapsed for so long? Do they actually really want to do that? I enjoyed catching up with people. I had a good time afterwards when a small group of us went out for drinks. But honestly, there were only a couple of them that I plan to get together with again with any regularity. And there were people there who irritated me, but after the initial irritation they couldn't really didn't bother me. It all seemed really silly and petty. I know I was being petty and neurotic when thinking about the reunion, but once I was there I didn't really see much point in being petty. These people are not my life anymore, and I don't want them to be. I've moved on. There are still people from high school that I want to keep in touch with. Most of whom I either am in regular contact with, and others who I have been in contact with on and off. Moving on with my life doesn't mean having to leave everyone behind, but it does make me realize who I wanted to move on with. It didn't happen all at once, but over time I learned who is important to me. And that changes over time too. There have been people in life who were vitally important to me at one time, who ceased to after a while. And as much as I can't imagine not having my current friends in my life forever, I know it might not always stay that way. It's nobody's fault. People change. People grow apart. People lose their power over one another. And those are good things. That's what this reunion reinforced to me. Well that was long and rambly.
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The big 3 0 - 2006-06-03 Hello again - 2006-05-03 Random stuff in place of an actual update - 2006-03-15 Pictures. Just Because. - 2006-02-23 Christmas 05 - 2005-12-26 Currently listening to: Beth Orton, Stolen Car |
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