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I Should�ve Taken That Left Turn at Albuquerque |
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Hello and welcome. If you're new here, be a dear and Read my Disclaimer. My diary not good enough for you? Fine, be that way. Try these instead: plf
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2001-04-02 - 9:18 p.m.� I am having a severe case of writer's block. I may be having a severe case of thinker's block too. Over the last little while I've just sort of felt like I'm in a rut. It's not the "where is my life going" kind of rut that I often find myself in, but more of a dopey kind of "shuffling through my days without really noticing what's going on around me" kind of rut. That was too wordy and didn't really express what I wanted to say. I don't know how to express what I want to say or do or be-- that's the whole problem. One thing about this wandering through my days rut that I'm feeling is that the days have been flying by. I was actually confused at work today when I saw coworkers start to take their lunch breaks. I had no idea that three and a half hours had passed since I started working. It felt like I had just started my day, and there it was, nearly half over. It's not as good as it sounds though. While it is a good thing to have your work day fly by, it is not so good to have your free time fly by so effortlessly. It's 9:30 pm, I've been home for 4 and a half hours, and I don't know what I've done. I watched some television. I ate chocolate popsicles. I did my daily online reading. I talked to my brother. Is that all? Does that really take 4 and a half hours? I feel like there are things I should be doing. I know there are things I should be doing. I should be writing. I should be finishing off the set of lightswitch covers I promised to make. I've tried to do those things. I've sat in front of a blank word perfect document (and then a blank piece of lined paper). I got out my clay, mixed all the colours, and then did little more than twist together long strands of clay, decide it looked wrong, and smush it back down again. I sort of wonder if I should be concerned. Another thing about this whole feeling is that I don't feel concerned. I feel... indifference. Indifference to myself, to the world around me. It's not a bad feeling, really. Just sort of hollow. Maybe it's just this nasal congestion that's causing all this. A stuffy nose tends to make me feel sort of dopey and uninterested in the world around me.
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The big 3 0 - 2006-06-03 Hello again - 2006-05-03 Random stuff in place of an actual update - 2006-03-15 Pictures. Just Because. - 2006-02-23 Christmas 05 - 2005-12-26 Currently listening to: |
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