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2000-10-14 - 1:47pm�
Fear of rejection

In a couple of hours, I'm supposed to take some samples of my candle holders down to a little candle boutique downtown. I was talking to one of the employees there yesterday, and she told me that the owner would be in today and that I he might be interested in taking some of my work on consignment.

I'm not sure whether or not I want to go. I'm scared that they'll reject my stuff. I don't know why I am so nervous about this. I've been selling my stuff for years, at craft shows, in stores, and am part of a somewhat pretigious craft store... I have absolutely no reason to care whether or not this one store wants me or not.

As a general rule I don't care too much whether or not people like me. It bothers me for a little while, but then I get over it; their loss, not mine. But I tend to take it personally if someone rejects my creative endeavours. That always bothers me way more than someone deciding they don't like me. Is that strange? I feel worse when inanimate objects are rejected than I do if I personally am rejected. On more than one occasion I have brought certain pieces of mine home from the stores if they had sat there a long time without being purchased. I feel bad for them.

I have to go and write up a little biography of my artisan experience and accomplishments now. It'll make me look more professional, which should make me more confident. And if they don't want my stuff, at least I'll have a jump on my inventory for my upcoming craft shows. Or I can send them to the store in Hamilton. Yeah, that's the ticket. Reject my stuff! See if I care!

(I do care.)

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