I Should�ve Taken That Left Turn at Albuquerque |
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2000-07-21 - 8:00 pm� Last day at my temp job today. They took me out for lunch, their treat, and didn't even care that we spent almost 2 hours at the restaurant on their time. Have I mentioned before that I really like these people? I hope my next temp assignment will be half as nice. I hope I get a new assignment soon. I'm not burnt out at all yet (it would be really sad if I was, seeing as I've only been working again for less than 3 weeks). So I don't want to be sitting around on my ass for too long. ***** We are having such a mild summer here in South Central Ontario! I had to wear my jacket out again today. It doesn't feel like late July, more like early May. Everybody is complaining about the weather. Sometimes I join in with them, just because hey, it's only idle conversation. Who doesn't like to talk about the weather? But really, I love this cool weather. I can go for a walk without turning into a sweaty pig, it's wonderful weather for sleeping, and I seeing as I am rarely wearing shorts I don't have to shave my legs very often. **** I didn't see that creepy guy on the bus home today. I was talking about the incident with a friend of mine and I realized why it upset me so much, or at least part of the reason. I have always sort of had this paranoia that other people are looking at me and judging me or laughing at me behind my back or whatever. Even though for the most part I have developed a fairly strong attitude of "why should I give a shit about what other people think of me", I still have remnants of insecurities from my younger days when I was not so confident about myself. So seeing this guy staring at me, and *drawing* me, just plays right into that paranoia. This guy really is staring at me, so it brings up the idea that my paranoia could actually be founded. Maybe people are looking at me, judging me for what they see. But then I think, so what are if they are? Screw them. But I do sort of care. When I think people are looking at me it makes me self conscious. I start acting differently, more reserved. I've got the whole J. Alfred Prufrock complex: And I have known the eyes already, known them all� That is one of the few poems that I can honestly say that I enjoy. For a former English major I really don't like that much poetry. But that poem just speaks to all my doubts and insecurities about my place in the world. Gee, that's the first time I've referenced something more than pop culture here in Diaryland. Yay me. :)
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The big 3 0 - 2006-06-03 Hello again - 2006-05-03 Random stuff in place of an actual update - 2006-03-15 Pictures. Just Because. - 2006-02-23 Christmas 05 - 2005-12-26 Currently listening to: |
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