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I Should�ve Taken That Left Turn at Albuquerque |
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2000-12-26 - 9:29 pm� Happy Boxing Day! Did everyone have a nice Christmas? I certainly did. I yesterday was the most pleasant Christmas I've ever had. I spent the day exclusively with people I love, listened to music, played games, had some great conversation, ate way too much delicious food, I got some great presents and everyone loved the presents I gave them. Nothing remotely unpleasant happened the entire day. That is fairly remarkable. Most Christmas Days in my life have included tears, shouting, and/or over the counter pain medication. This year was different because my mom, brother and I did not take part in my family's annual Dysfunctional Family Christmas Hoedown. Since my Christmas celebrations this year were too pleasant to make for an interesting diary entry, I think I'll share some stories from my Christmas past. The Dysfunctional Family Christmas Hoedown took place at my grandparent's place for as long as I can remember. When I was very little, all of my family, and my mom's brothers and their families would all attend (My mom has five brothers). Most years, at least up until my parents got divorced, we would open up all of our presents at home, then pile into the car by 10:00 am and drive up to Barrie. Depending on the weather, we would usually arrive by lunchtime. The rest of the family either be there already, or arriving shortly. When I was little I used to look forward to getting there; I was too young to know any better. Besides, I liked seeing my cousins and some of my uncles. I think I was about the only one in my little family who ever liked going up there. My father didn't get along with my mom's family. To my father's credit, he was at least civil to all of them. The same cannot be said for them. Alot of my aunts and uncles wouldn't even say more than two words to him during a visit. My grandmother was always especially hateful to him. Sure, she had every reason to think he was a worthless lazy bastard, but these are feelings that are really better left hidden during the holidays. My mom didn't really like going there either. My grandparents were constantly nagging at her about the worthless piece of human garbage that is my father. On top of that, she had to listen to her sisters-in-law brag about how wonderful their lives and possessions were. Even my brother hated these family gatherings. My grandmother was always nagging him about something, not eating like a big boy, or talking too much, or something like that. And the kid didn't even have anyone fun to play with at these gatherings like I did when I was younger. All of our cousins who were close to his age were, quite frankly, spoiled little brats. And he couldn't bring any of his new Christmas toys with him because just about every year, the cousins would play too rough and break something of his. It was nothing to them, all of their parents could afford to replace their toys, but my brother knew that we did not have that same luxury. So those were the ever present issues that I was always surrounded with going into these Christmas gatherings. I think that just about every our member of the big ol' family had issues of their own too. In a family that big, the possibility of everyone getting along with each other is slim. We all have different circumstances, different ideas, different opinions. The phrase "you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family" holds some special meaning in my family. I don't know that many of us would have chosen anyone outside of their own immediate families, given the opportunity. So anyway, when the whole lot of us would get together the tension would mount, the tempers would flare... often resulting in the aforementioned tears, shouting and over the counter pain medication. In retrospect, a lot of the big, horrible fights are pretty funny, but at the time they were not. One of the ones I remember most vividly was a fight between two of my uncles. I don't remember exactly what it started over. The exact point of contention was trivial-- the real reason that they were fighting was years and years of pent up hostility. Uncle A felt that Uncle B had never taken him seriously and still looked upon him as a child. Uncle B felt that Uncle A was a spoiled little child who didn't respect him. Anyway, they got into a shouting match in the family room. They screamed at each other, insulted each other's intelligence, name called, swore... I'm sure several of my younger cousins learned some interesting new words that day. I distinctly remember Uncle B calling Uncle A a "sucky little baby boy" and then roughly mussing up his hair. This resulted in that ever popular threat, "I'm should kick your ass." The traditional family Christmas response to that threat is of course,"Oh yeah, take your best shot, little man!" Uncle A would have taken his best shot, expect that my grandmother intervened as the voice of reason, yelling at them not to dare to fight in her living room. They tried to take the fight outside, but my grandmother was not too keen on that idea either. What in God's name would the neighbours think if they saw two of her sons out fighting on the lawn? So reluctantly, Uncle B's wife pulled him aside and calmed him down, while another one of my uncles calmed down Uncle A. Uncle B ended up eating at the kiddie table that year, at his wife's insistence. Stuff like that happened almost every year. Of course, the nonsense didn't happen constantly. There were enough breaks in the madness for some happy moments. I do have some good memories from the Dysfunctional Family Christmas Hoedowns. Although most the good memories are sort of dysfunctional in themselves, and involve escaping from the rest of the family for a little while. One of favorite memories is the time that one of my cousins and I spent a good chunk of the afternoon holed up in the guestroom closet, thinking of names for our new Cabbage Patch dolls and eating the goodies from our Christmas stockings. Another of my fondest memories comes from years later, and actually involves my father. In his own quest to escape the insanity of the evenings discussions/fights, he came across myself and a cousin who had been shuttled off to bed, even though it was really still too early to expect us to sleep. My dad found us a board game, taught us the rules, and the three of us played for hours. I don't have many fond memories from the Dysfunctional Family Christmas Hoedown from the years after we moved up to Barrie. As the years went by the family has become less and less able to maintain that thin thread of togetherness, have lost the patience to even be civil to each other. This is the first year that we didn't even put in an appearance at the hoedown. We saw my grandmother and one of my uncles (the only one that I can wholeheartedly say that I like) on Christmas morning and then we spent the rest of the day at home. I don't think it is a coincidence that this Christmas was the best Christmas I can remember.
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The big 3 0 - 2006-06-03 Hello again - 2006-05-03 Random stuff in place of an actual update - 2006-03-15 Pictures. Just Because. - 2006-02-23 Christmas 05 - 2005-12-26 Currently listening to: |
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