|
I Should�ve Taken That Left Turn at Albuquerque |
||||
|
Hello and welcome. If you're new here, be a dear and Read my Disclaimer. My diary not good enough for you? Fine, be that way. Try these instead: plf
|
2000-12-30 - 11:43pm� I left my last entry sort of abruptly, so this entry is really a continuation of the last entry. So where was I? Oh yes. My mom is insane. Seriously, I'm not just being flippant. I'm getting a little worried. In addition to the usual obsessive behavior, every day she finds something new to worry about. I think it's bad for her health. Her stress level must be through the roof. Here's one of the more recent examples of her growing insanity. My younger brother, who is 18 years old, took the bus to Toronto to go shopping and see Sarah and Craig for a couple days this week. He's done this before, no big deal. At least, it really shouldn't be a big deal. For some reason though, Mom was convinced that he hadn't made it to Toronto safely. She could give me no rational reason why she thought he didn't get there safely. She said something about how she thought it was strange that when she looked out the window at the bus stop when he was supposed to leave, she hadn't seen him there. I asked her what that had to do with anything, and she didn't have an answer. She probably even knew for herself that her reasons made no sense, and didn't want to tell them to me. So anyway, whatever her reasons, she bugged me the whole day about him. She asked me repeatedly if he had emailed me to let me know "how his trip was going." I told her no, and I wasn't really expecting him too. She asked me this a good five times, and I gave her the same answer each time. She left for work in the afternoon, thankfully, and I did get to enjoy some very much needed privacy. However, she did feel that it was necessary to call me around 7:00 and ask me if I'd called my brother "to see what he had spent his Christmas money on." I told her that I hadn't called him, and I wasn't really planning to. I could hear what he bought when he got home on Friday. After much more beating around the bush she finally admitted that she wanted me to call "just to hear his voice" so we would know that he had arrived in Toronto safely. I did give a call around 10:30 and left a rambly message on Sarah's answering machine, telling my brother to leave me an ICQ message or email me when they got in. Of course, when mom gets home from work at 11:30, the first thing she asks is if I talked to him. She was not at all happy when I told her that no one was home when I called. She then yelled at me, "Well I hope you said on the answering maching for him to call back here!" Now if my mom had told my brother before he left, to call her when he got to Toronto, he would have done so. She didn't tell him to call, nor did she tell me to get him to call back here. No, no, we are just supposed to intuitively know when she is having an attack of severe paranoia, so that we know if we need to calm her down. So mom yells at me, I yell back. I run down the list of rational reasons why we can assume that my brother is safely in Toronto. The biggest reason is, of course, that Sarah and/or Craig did not call us, wondering where the hell my brother is. I think that if he did not show up when he was supposed to, they might have been a little concerned! After I yelled all sorts of rationalizations at my mom, she finally, finally started to calm down a little. I think that she almost wants someone to just yell at her and tell her she is nuts and to stop obsessing over stuff. This has become the pattern lately. She obsesses over things, repeatedly asks me to rationalize everything for her, doesn't quite believe me and keeps at it until I lose what little patience I have and just start yelling at her, then she calms down and believes me. I find this to be almost more troubling than the obsessing itself. She seems to want me to yell at her and tell her she's nuts. It's really very tiring for me to have to rationalize everything out for my mother. If something doesn't give soon she's going to drive me to a little nervous breakdown of my own. It doesn't help things that we are in such close quarters either. This place is too small. There's no escape from one another, and when there is tension between us, it's nearly unbearable. And I know exactly what you mean about how a grown child living with a parent sometimes feels being in an inescapable marriage. She's promised me that she is going to see a doctor about getting some help very soon into the new year. I really hope she does because if not, one of us is going to end up in the looney bin.
|
The big 3 0 - 2006-06-03 Hello again - 2006-05-03 Random stuff in place of an actual update - 2006-03-15 Pictures. Just Because. - 2006-02-23 Christmas 05 - 2005-12-26 Currently listening to: |
||