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I Should�ve Taken That Left Turn at Albuquerque |
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Hello and welcome. If you're new here, be a dear and Read my Disclaimer. My diary not good enough for you? Fine, be that way. Try these instead: plf
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2002-03-05 - 11:00 p.m.� For the past 3 days all I've heard from my brother is Simon. Simon this, Simon that, we really should go down to the pound and bring Simon the cat home. He's obsessed with this cat, and how we need to adopt him. It's like he's a little boy, instead of a big, manly 19 year old. The constant reminder that I cannot afford to buy Simon right now does nothing. Adoption ain't free-- it runs about $135, plus a litter box, food dish, scratching post... He tells me how he could pay me $40 towards him. After he gets paid, of course. He tells me that maybe after Mom gets paid, maybe I can recover some of the costs from her. I tell him that after I go out and buy groceries tomorrow, there will be no costs to recover, because I will have no money to buy Simon with. I will likely not even have enough to go out for lunch, or buy new socks, which I pretty much desperately need. And yet, somehow, I am coming out of this discussion like some evil gestapo, condemning Simon, the lovely but scared kitty cat, into a life or misery and torment at the shelter. I didn't ask to be the bad guy. I didn't ask, or expect, that at 25 I would be depended upon to support my mother and brother, when my mom's paycheque "comes up a little short this month." Sometimes I really, really want to say, fuck you all, I'll take care of myself, now you two do the same. That impulse is always shortlived, because it isn't actually how I feel, and it isn't actually who I am. But damn it all, if some days it isn't tempting.
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The big 3 0 - 2006-06-03 Hello again - 2006-05-03 Random stuff in place of an actual update - 2006-03-15 Pictures. Just Because. - 2006-02-23 Christmas 05 - 2005-12-26 Currently listening to: |
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