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I Should�ve Taken That Left Turn at Albuquerque |
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Hello and welcome. If you're new here, be a dear and Read my Disclaimer. My diary not good enough for you? Fine, be that way. Try these instead: plf
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2001-02-11 - 8:00 pm� Yesterday I finished reading Lady Oracle by Margaret Atwood. The book is about a woman who more or less has different images of herself, almost different identities, and she tries to keep all of these images and identities separate from each other. She has one image that she presents to her husband, an image that she presents to her lover, an image from her childhood, and another that she tries to keep strictly to herself. She is so concerned with what the people in her life will think of her that she only presents a part of herself to each person, the part that she thinks they will like. The climax of the book comes when all these different identities threaten to come to the light, and expose all aspects of herself to the world at once. At least, that was my take on things. The book got me thinking about how I do this too. Not to the degree that the protagonist in the book did-- she was so fragmented that no one saw more than one piece of her personality at a time-- but I sometimes feel like there isn't anyone who completely knows me inside and out. I like to think that I don't care if people don't like me, but that is not quite true. I mean, I will accept it, and not get too upset if I realize that someone doesn't like me. I won't try to change to please anyone, but I do try to present myself to people in a way that I think will make them think well of me. I don't lie to people about myself, but I do practice selective omission. I leave out details, pieces of my past, my present, my thoughts, my actions, etc, if I think that they might drastically change someone's perception of me, or if I think someone will have trouble dealing with a certain aspect of me. Even the people who know me best, my family, my closest friends, don't know everything about me. (The only possible exception is my brother. I let him in on things about me that no one else knows.) Even this diary doesn't give a complete picture of me. I am honest here, and I try to be fairly open, but I can only say so much. Some of it is unintentional; I can't possibly record every thought and feeling I have during the day. I have to pick and choose. And I'm bound to leave out some things about myself just because I am not thinking about them when I'm writing. Some things are left out intentionally though. There are some things that I am just not comfortable putting out there for public consumption. I know that there are some things I could say that would change people's perceptions of me completely, in ways that I'm not comfortable with. So there you go. If you read this regularly, you'll get to know a lot of things about me. You'll get to know even more about me than I lot of people I know in real life get to know. But you won't get to learn all my secrets.
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The big 3 0 - 2006-06-03 Hello again - 2006-05-03 Random stuff in place of an actual update - 2006-03-15 Pictures. Just Because. - 2006-02-23 Christmas 05 - 2005-12-26 Currently listening to: |
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