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I Should�ve Taken That Left Turn at Albuquerque |
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Hello and welcome. If you're new here, be a dear and Read my Disclaimer. My diary not good enough for you? Fine, be that way. Try these instead: plf
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2001-05-21 - 10:03 p.m.� My mother is driving me right up the wall today. She won't leave me alone. And I can't go anywhere in this cheap fucking apartment to get away from her. There is nowhere to go. She follows me, spouting mindless chatter about nothing. She keeps telling me the same things over and over, and not important or even slightly relevant things either. I swear, sometimes she talks just to hear herself talk. I love my mom. I love my mom. I love my mom. But right now I wish I could love her from afar. I just can't make myself care anymore about what she thought of last night's X-files. I cared the first time she told me today, but after the 6th or 7th time I would really rather she kept it to herself. I don't care about who she talked to on the phone yesterday. I don't care about what she did with the laundry. I don't need to know about it everytime she is making a cup of tea. I don't need to be informed everytime the cat does something cute. This all sounds so petty and whiny when I see it all spelled out in front of me. And it probably is petty. She isn't doing anything wrong or mean or abusive. I'm the mean one. I'm the mean one who yelled at her to please be quiet for five damn minutes so I could read one e-mail without interruption. She just wants to spend time with me. She just loves my fucking company. And I feel like an unselfish little bitch for wanting her to just go away somewhere-- anywhere-- so I could have some quiet time to myself on my day off. Is that really too much to ask? This is all such trite rebellious teen angst garbage. Which would be understandable, even expected, if I were a teenager and not 2 weeks away from my 25th birthday. I'm a grown up for fuck's sake. I don't feel like it today though. Days like today make it hard to remember why exactly it is that I am choosing not to move out on my own. Somedays I feel like I am choosing responsibility and loyalty and a good conscience over my sanity.
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The big 3 0 - 2006-06-03 Hello again - 2006-05-03 Random stuff in place of an actual update - 2006-03-15 Pictures. Just Because. - 2006-02-23 Christmas 05 - 2005-12-26 Currently listening to: |
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