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I Should�ve Taken That Left Turn at Albuquerque |
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Hello and welcome. If you're new here, be a dear and Read my Disclaimer. My diary not good enough for you? Fine, be that way. Try these instead: plf
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2002-09-02 - 10:33 p.m.� I can't stop washing my hands. I made breaded ocean perch and dill garlic home fries for dinner, and now my hands stink of fish and garlic. The dinner was really tasty, but I'm not sure if it was worth all the trouble of getting the skin off the fish with my crappy kitchen knives, the smoke alarms going off sporadically, and this lovely residual perfume of fish on my hands. Labour Day... I feel like I should be thinking about the upcoming school year. New school years always started out for me with such mixed feelings. New school supplies, new shoes, a new outfit, fresh new makeup, and the new hope that this would be the year, this would finally be the year where everything would be wonderful. Everything would fall into place socially, academically, emotionally... this would be the year I'd be happy. But there was also the dread, the little voice that told me that things were going to be just as bad this year, maybe worse. And it didn't take long for that little voice of dread to be proven right. It never took long for the hope to fade out. New classes only seemed exciting and fun for a couple of days. That year's teachers were always just as unpredictable as the year before. And despite the new duds, I was still the same person who didn't like school, who didn't feel comfortable with her appearance, who had a serious lack of self esteem with social situations, and who never felt confident enough to get out of the shadows. Things were better when I got to University. My self confidence blossomed, and I enjoyed the new environment, the new challenges. I never totally got over the hope/dread mixed bag of emotions, but the dread lessened, and the hope was more justified. Septembers started to live up to my hopes of a fresh start. So even though this is my fourth September out of school, it never fails, this time of year I get a yearning for new school supplies, and the hope for that fresh start, the chance for everything to change for the better. Not that I have a yearning for school, I'm still very pleased to be done with that, but I have been feeling sort of a wanderlust lately. I guess the feeling has always been there for me. I'm still hoping for the fresh start: new job with lots of money, new social opportunities, new challenges. Happiness. Of course, given the choice between getting a fresh start at the unknown or going to work tomorrow at my comfortable, although not perfect, job, I would choose my comfortable job, at least for now. I am happier now than I've been since I finished school. I don't need to start fresh to be happy right now. That's a nice place to be.
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The big 3 0 - 2006-06-03 Hello again - 2006-05-03 Random stuff in place of an actual update - 2006-03-15 Pictures. Just Because. - 2006-02-23 Christmas 05 - 2005-12-26 Currently listening to: Beth Orton, "Daybreakers" |
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