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Big Fat Blog

2003-11-02 - 6:03 p.m.�
This is one of the worst feelings ever, and I have no one to blame but myself.

I'm feeling like quite the idiot today. I was trying to figure out if I had enough money in my account to order a pizza for dinner, and then realized that I'd seriously miscalculated things yesterday. Basically I'll be really lucky if there is just enough in my account to keep my rent check from bouncing.

I can't do anything about it now because my bank is closed on Sunday and I don't have internet banking (why? why don't I have internet banking??That would have solved everything, damn it). If I can get to the bank tomorrow morning and transfer some money from my savings into my chequing account before the management company tries to cash my rent cheque I'll be okay. But if I don't... ouch. I'm hoping I have at least a little overdraft insurance, but really I have no idea. I've never needed it before. I've never done anything like this before. I'm usually so careful with big things like this.

I really need to set down a proper budget and stick to it. My money has been stretched way too tight lately. Looking at now I can see that this was probably bound to happen sooner or later. I just feel like such an irresponsible idiot! I don't do things like this! Honestly, I don't.

Ugh. I've been feeling like I'm seconds away from barfing all day. I told my brother, because I needed to tell someone, but I didn't tell my mother. Partly because I don't want her to worry too... not when we can't do anything about it. And also because I feel like such a hypocrite. I've reamed her out for coming to me at the last minute after she'd miscalculated things too. It's not like it happened often, but every time it did I got on my high horse and made it clear that I would never let something like that happen.

And now I did.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

But they hardly ever cash the cheque right away. And the bank opens at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow... Everyone please cross your fingers for me that it all works out for me, okay?

In better, but less important news, I'm up to 3907 words on my NaNoWriMo project! That's about 570 words past where I need to be to stay on my schedule (word calculation schedules are an important part of the procrastination process). I'd really like to get a full day or two ahead, because I know that there are going to be some days when I just will not be able to make myself write. I thought given my financial fuck up that today might be one of them, but thankfully writing actually managed to keep me from obsessing a little bit. Now I just have to figure out how to get through the rest of the night.

yesterday tomorrow

Recent Nonsense:

The big 3 0 - 2006-06-03

Hello again - 2006-05-03

Random stuff in place of an actual update - 2006-03-15

Pictures. Just Because. - 2006-02-23

Christmas 05 - 2005-12-26

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