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Big Fat Blog

2004-08-25 - 7:40 p.m.�
Why I don't like my workplace anymore

I think I'm in a good enough mood at the moment that I can talk (type) about work without it putting me into a rotten mood.

My office has been unpleasant for quite some time now. There is a total bitch in a management position, and it's completely changed the office dynamic. She isn't my manager, but her reach is large. And even though she doesn't have any direct control over my department, she has an air about her that indicates that she could get her way with us too if she wanted to.

Last week a long time employee was suspended without pay, supposedly over something that happened 4 years ago. I don't know all the details, and even if I was completely clear on the situation, I doubt I would go any into it any further here. In any case, the general feeling is that it was totally uncalled for.

On Friday, a day when I was (thankfully) on vacation, said suspended employee came into the office and quit. There was a huge and messy scene. It apparently was so bad that it just witnessing it was enough to reduce my closest coworker to tears.

While this is the first such event to happen in my office since the new management came in, I am not at all surprised by it. If anything, I feel like I was expecting something like this to happen all along.

Rumors are running rampant about who will be next. One whole department in my office seems to feel like management is trying to force them to quit. It's not a fun environment to work in.

I am so conflicted. I do not want to work like this. I can't work in a constant state of fear. The stress is getting to me, to the point of physical exhaustion some nights.

The thing is though, I still enjoy my job. The work itself, I mean. I like what I do for a living. I still feel it's worthwhile, and I don't really want to stop doing it.

But I do think that this is the push I need to really seriously look at getting a new job. I have to wait until October, because I don't want anything interferring with my vacation. After that I will start looking hardcore. I think I have to. I think that the fulfilling aspects of my job aren't going to be enough for me soon enough.

I think I'm okay with it. Now that I've had a few days to process everything, I see that it isn't all bad. Sure, for 8 hours a day I'm in hell but when I come home I've had a push to make the most of my free time. I've been cranking out jewelry and christmas tree ornaments like a mad woman. And I've been writing again. I even entered one of my short stories into a writing contest.

So I'm okay. I'm occasionally feeling a little fragile, a little depressed, but overall I think I've got a handle on things. At least, that's how I'm feeling right now. Ask me tomorrow and I might feel completely different.

On an unrelated note, I just have to ask-- person who visited me from tdbank.ca, and read a gazillion entries today, who are you? I'm always excited when I see anonymous people have read a gazillion entries, but they make me nervous too, because I'm paranoid and worry that they are anonymous because they know me and want to spy on me. Anonymously.

yesterday tomorrow

Recent Nonsense:

The big 3 0 - 2006-06-03

Hello again - 2006-05-03

Random stuff in place of an actual update - 2006-03-15

Pictures. Just Because. - 2006-02-23

Christmas 05 - 2005-12-26

Currently listening to: Sarah McLachlan Acoustic

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